It has been 6 days since I last heard or talked about work. I have spent some time with my family and some time with myself. It would be perfect if everybody could share the same free time, so I could also spend time with my friends. But each one of us have our own time and speed. And my speed is different from everyone as everyone's speed is different from the rest of the world.
I am not a child anymore to jump into an adventure by chance. But I don't feel like I am in an age that I can't accept changes, accept to learn or face something different or even to try something completely unknown. Or maybe it is not a matter of age, I always choose to be in the middle term, finding alternative solutions.
I am still inspired by many ideas although I keep myself far away from executing them. Or maybe worse: to start doing something without quality. Maybe it is not so bad when you realize that you still need to catch up with what is still missing.
I feel much more still than 2 years ago, when I didn't know where I was going to work or even if I was good at something. After all, what seems interesting to me sometimes turns out to be a disaster to others. I always hold second thoughts not only when I speak, but also when I act. When you deal with people you have a small perception of their minds and this is frightening! But that's exciting and what I treasure in my heart.
The truth is that time goes by so quickly to every living soul. It is also true that the time goes by even faster for those who don't do what they like. Instead, they complain about the cruelty of time, but that's untrue. The world has its own speed and some reinvent the wheel by writing books that focus on positive thoughts. And others spend energy with discussions to compete who does it better. And the hope is the last one to die. It's a talk, talk, talk of people that think too much and forget that they need more action.
I usually don't think much. And this is true when I have to do something, I just do it and wait to see what comes next. But not for everything... An example is my personal life, I don't see how can I wear a fashion cloth and get out to a club. Music which the only goal is to make people from different cultures come together physically without worrying about unifying these cultures and opinions. Not to exchange their thoughts or points of view. Just to jump along with these songs because listening to them to dance all alone at home is something that nobody wants. I may be wrong but I feel an individualistic crowd out there. If one opens the mouth to talk, it is a regression to the stone age. The cave of shadows, the cave of stones, the cave of electronic bits.
And I am also speaking about us, since I miss the days we talked about stuff like these, not only to smash buttons in a right sequence if you know what I mean. There are many and many caves. My cave is psych.
This post is a mix of sorrow, will and complain... When I write I try to create a scene. Today this scene is unfortunately a little pessimistic, cloudy and too silent. I have many other reasons to say that this is also a good sign because of my nature. It is me wondering if somebody else is lost though this world, if there is someone missing or something lost in time.
